Benificial Strength

New hope for a laptop a woman promised me her old computor in two weeks so I quickly promised her $100 dollars just for finally someone helping me. The no objection rule to spending money is not GOD so I decided to apply incentive for she says she has to wipe her hardware hardrive clear. It sounds expansive. She wants to see my website and so I promised her the poetry but recent changes to my facebook has my heart sore and caused me many problems. My nerves are finally gone. I have had so many blessings from the LORD no one knoes about but GOD. My heart just stops now and then depression forms the real intentions of my heart I am not important now to anyone. A bad time for missing love. Twisting my already misshapen insides. I do not have the strength GOD gave Goose I will not be able to kill myself its true. I layed in Shelter Sweltering the storm was raging rain falling but the Sun was shining same time shining HOT. I hope this happens to the hut when Winter comes. SOlar Heating some. It would be better for everone around me that knoes me and my lambe that loves me wold finally be so better off without me. Free for her to be herself at last. I too free to be a sinner saved at last and gone away to Glory facing Wrath. I still cant find that Benificial strangth to kill myself. TO face another day of suffering and pain and love is life. And so I stay. At least Today. I have arrived.